dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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