Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
