I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
