So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
