are you so shy because you have an std?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
These tits shall not be calmed
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
