Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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