So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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