Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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