I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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