Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
