Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
