and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
