i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
