i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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