fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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