Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
