**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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