TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
