Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
