i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
