I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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