If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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