an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize