Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
