where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
