I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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