Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize