Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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