just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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