dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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