I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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