Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
