So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize