So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
