i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
