At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize