Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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