This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
