she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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