new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
