Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize