No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
