We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
