i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
sex in a hospital.. check
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
