So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
