What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
