Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
