This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
