Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
