Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
