he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
