You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
