What tipped you off? The sombrero?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
