woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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