Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
