Umm I'm too high to move.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
