we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
