i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
