What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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