she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
