We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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